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  • Essay / Pride and Prejudice: The Nature of Dating and Marriage in 19th Century England

    First published in 1813, Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice aptly describes the nature of dating and of marriage in 19th century England. In this novel, Elizabeth Bennett eventually marries Fitzwilliam Darcy, a man who has considerable wealth. It is likely a romantic love, and romantic love was only available to those who could afford it (MacFarlane 205). Essentially, “the choice of who one marries will be strongly determined by the rank into which one is born” (MacFarlane 252). According to Park Honan, “romantic love among the nobility was more preached than practiced…a desirable marriage was designed by the person's unwavering feelings” (Honan 193). Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay Courtship took place before marriage and was seen as an opportunity to determine compatibility. The potential partners met at church or at balls (where Elizabeth meets Mr. Darcy) and continued to meet for some time afterward (Honan 312). An interesting tidbit is that some people considered sex acceptable after engagement (MacFarlane 306). In fact, “1/3 of women were pregnant at the time of their marriage” (MacFarlane 306). People in 19th century England placed much more importance on courtship than young couples today: "Once you propose, your goal is to inform the parents or guardians of the lady of your intentions, specifying at the same time your situation and the settlement you are considering. must make on your future wife, and for their part, they must indicate what her fortune will be as closely as they can estimate…” (Pool 191). Marriage seemed more about business than about desire. For example, a husband often had to take a rich wife to further improve the ancestral family name (Pool 181). There were also certain social regulations regarding who could marry. A man, for example, could not marry his deceased wife's sister, but two first cousins ​​could marry. This happened frequently, as evidenced by Mr. Collins' proposition in Pride and Prejudice (Pool 180). People mainly married within their rank, although this was not a formal rule. As women depended on their parents to provide their dowry, many chose to wait and let the money accumulate to secure a better marriage. “If a girl wished to marry well, she would be advised to bide her time. Often his economic attractiveness increased at the same time as his physical charm diminished” (MarFarlane 277). This usually happened in the mid-20s. (MacFarlane 277). Men generally waited to marry until they could earn an independent living (MacFarlane 278). “The longer he delayed his marriage, the greater were his chances of a comfortable middle age and old age” (MacFarlane 278). Before the marriage can take place, parental permission may be required. “Until 1823, a man or woman under 21 could not marry without parental permission” (Pool 180). Lydia Bennett and Wickham tackle this problem in a typical turn-of-the-century manner. “In the early years of the century, people who wanted to escape the demands crossed the Scottish border to a small town called Gretna Green” (Pool 183). There were also legal matters to be resolved before the wedding. Lawyers would determine the dowry:the wealth required by the bride and her family for the marriage. “The going price for a woman of aristocratic rank marrying someone of the same rank in the 1870s was between 10 and 30,000 pounds” (Pool 301). Jointness (the legal term for a portion of the husband's estate for the widow after his death) was also constituted in these matrimonial agreements (Pool 327). This would include the portion that could be used for their own children's dowry. "The bride's family had to ensure that she and her children would have enough to live on if her husband died or was a waste" (Pool 181). For this reason, pocket money, an allowance given to a woman upon one's marriage, was "frequently negotiated explicitly as part of the marriage settlement between the families of a future husband and wife" to be spent on household items or personal adornment (Bassin 353). Oddly enough, the amount of dowry, or bride price (the amount the husband and his family paid to the bride's family for the bride) was not seen in England after the 15th century. This was relevant in other countries, and still is in some (MacFarlane 277-278). As one might imagine, having more than one daughter put a strain on the family finances. “Bennett's misfortune was to have five daughters, and his dilemma is exaggerated in wartime, when men are scarce and girls heavy…” (Honan 310). But in reality, only the eldest son seemed to have the upper hand in 19th century life. “Only the eldest son, except in areas of partial inheritance, would receive the primary estate” (MacFarlane 280). They could of course use their money to help their younger brothers and sisters, but they didn't have to. “It would seem that younger sons and daughters were treated as equals” (MacFarlane 280). Once matters are settled, the marriage could finally be announced. Banns were the cheapest and most public way of obtaining permission to marry (Pool 264). This required the parish priest or vicar to announce an impending marriage during church service on three consecutive Sunday mornings. “If no one stood up to ban the banns during the reading, the couple could get married within three months” (Pool 264). You could also obtain a license to marry, if you did not want to marry according to the banns. There were three different types: the Archbishop of Canterbury could grant a "special license" to marry at any time and in any place; a local minister could grant a much cheaper license authorizing marriage in the parish (Pool 332); or “one could also obtain a license to hold a simple civic ceremony at the local registrar's office or a ceremony at a nonconformist place of worship” (Pool 332). Elizabeth Bennett's mother in Pride and Prejudice pressures her to obtain a special permit to marry, since Darcy is rich enough to afford it. To marry, one required four types of property: a house, household and personal furnishings, an assured income, and cash (MacFarlane 263). The law required marriage to take place in the morning (usually at nine o'clock) until the late 1880s, but it could continue until three in the afternoon (Pool 183). This is why most 19th-century novels about weddings depict the traditional wedding breakfast. The bride and groom were not required to invite their immediate family, although it was generally the social custom to do so (Pool 183). It was also customary to throw shoes after the couple after the ceremony (Pool 183). Another interesting fact from the time in which Pride and Prejudice was written is that the bride could ask a companion to accompany her., 1993.