Ever since I was little, the first values ​​my parents tried to instill in my brother and me were those of Christianity - and during the Most of my childhood, I was content adhering to these beliefs. It was only after my disaster at Carnegie Hall that I began to question my faith. Since I found out I had the opportunity to perform there, I have practiced and prayed constantly to avoid disappointing my parents. I began to wonder if there really was an all-powerful being listening to my prayers, or if they were just blind cries into the void. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an original essay As my teenage years continued, I felt ashamed that I could not return to faith. I often found myself comparing my own weak will with my brother's, wondering why he was able to attend church so enthusiastically every week and embark on month-long mission trips every year. Initially, I thought that my loss of faith was attributed to my own immaturity and naivety at the time, and that as I grew older, I would eventually mature enough to return to Christianity. However, that couldn't have been further from the truth. The more I learned about this unforgiving world, the less I saw myself truly accepting Christianity again. How could God let bad things happen to good people? If God was as all-powerful as he is made out to be, why can't He just eliminate evil? All of these thoughts invaded my mental space, serving as a barrier to my identity as a Christian until I could find answers. In “Borges and I,” written by Jorge Luis Borges, the essay is told from the point of view of Borges’ inner self. His consciousness feels a disconnect with the physical Borges, fearing succumbing to outside influences. Borges says: I am destined to perish definitively, and only a moment of myself can survive in it... Spinoza knew that all things aspire to persist in their being; the stone eternally wants to be a stone and the tiger a tiger. I will remain in Borges, not in myself (if it is true that I am anyone)... Writing about his inner self as a distinct entity, Borges redefines the application of "essence" in himself- even. Although his inner self wants to remain the essence of Borges as a collective, his identity within himself is in decline and he realizes that he will eventually become a part of the physical Borges influenced by his environment. Borges' analogies to explain "things that aspire to persist in their being" contextualize my reluctance to lose faith. Being born and raised in a Christian home and Christian community, I associated my own identity with my faith. As my understanding of the world evolved and I reached the point where I could draw my own conclusions, much of my internal struggle came from the discomfort associated with having my "essence" being questioned. My identity lay in refusing the incremental changes that altered my being, clinging desperately – but in vain – to the possibility that my belief in Christianity would somehow manage to overcome my nascent mind. . Keep in mind: this is just a sample. Get a custom paper now from our expert writers.Get a custom essayAlthough I now realize that my loss of faith was never something to be ashamed of, but rather imperative to my humanity and my innate instinct to develop in unfamiliar surroundings, I still have qualms about my change..